what you eventually get when you keep eating salad:

Oh yeah, that's a bug.  I thought about eating the salad anyway, but I called the restaurant and they brought me another one.  I felt guilty throwing it away, though.  Bug = Protein?  Is it really that bad for you?

Weekly Weigh In

230.8 lbs.  

Somewhere along the line I lost another 5 lbs.  How?  I have no idea.

I was craving hot dogs so badly that I finally gave in (my sister called to say:  "WILL YOU JUST EAT A HOT DOG ALREADY?") and bought some all beef reduced fat Hebrew Nationals.  Very tasty.  And then?  I got a headache for three days.  

Way back when, I had these "three-day headaches" a lot.  I also had them all the time when I lived in Los Angeles.  But in the old days, I decided on a whim to be vegetarian for a while, and the headaches all but disappeared.  Coincidence?  I really don't think so.

In other news, guess what I've been craving the last few days?  No, not a dog.  SALAD.  I had a salad yesterday with tofu in it that was SO GOOD I could not stop till it was gone.  It barely had any dressing, it was extremely healthy and uncharacteristically satisfying, for a salad.  I got mediterranean salad for lunch today.  It was supposed to have, among other things, hummus and spicy pita chips.  It arrived complete with stuffed grape leaves, grilled eggplant and...Nacho Cheese Doritos.  What, is this Iceland?  

confessions

I REALLY want to smoke a cigarette and drink a margarita right now.  Or a beer.  A beer sounds good.  And a hot dog.

I think I'm going to have to join Overeaters Anonymous.  Seriously.  I just can't seem to control myself for any longer than a few days.  I mean, how much food does one person need?  Not over 2,000 calories, I can tell you that.  

Perhaps I need a hypnotist.  Someone to convince me I want salad instead of mexican food.  Or a hot dog.  With mustard and relish.  And onions.

I do have to say I feel better if I don't eat meat, bread or sugar.  My mood is better, I sleep better and I generally am able to deal with life better.  So why would I want to eat cheese or toast with butter (oooh, butter!)?  Why does my brain think that will make me feel good, when I know from experience that it will only make me feel good for a little while?  I know that later I will feel sluggish and gross and my stomach will be upset and I'll be all "Tums!  Where are my Tums?!"  

Damn immediate gratification.  I'm stuck in an abusive relationship with it.

hanging in there

So! Update!  

Oh, the struggle!  Every single day is hard, to be vegan, sugar free and gluten free.  I have not been successful a lot of the time.  Some days I am vegan and gluten free, some days I am sugar free, some days I am none.  But that's ok, I think.  Every day I keep trying, and I think that is better than just letting go and shoving anything and everything down my gullet.  Although that sounds like a tremendous amount of fun.

I have not lost any weight since my last weigh-in, but I haven't gained any either.  I am walking to or from work most days.  The other day I had to go pick up something for work and I chose to walk.  In the rain.  By the time I was done I was soaked, but I got an hour's worth of exercise.

I might only be hanging on to the tail, but I'm still on the horse.